trying hard to make myself believe

...that a day can only be the one of the worst day of your life if you let it be one.

i'm trying very hard to brush off the insults and reply with a smile. it's so unhealthy.
sometimes i wonder if they are there for the sole purpose of crushing your spirits. cause one can only have a certain limit of handling daily insults.

now it is time to test the how strong is my mental insults shield. wtf.

week 1, i want my superman!

NowPlaying.

i think i have a penchant for these kind of songs.

easy breezy.

Little Bit - Lykke Li

Hands down
I'm too proud, for love
But with eyes shut
It's you I'm thinking of

I'm Good, I'm Gone - Lykke Li

I'm working a sweat, but it's all good 
I'm breaking my back but it's all good

my rock.

i always love to go shopping during the festive season the mall decoration is always so amazing especially during christmas. went out planning to watch narnia today but damn ticket sold out like hot cakes so ended up shopping   (again, sigh i know T___T) instead.

the mall is covered with huge teddies and other doll thingy!!! 

spot the door.

i say take my picture this way, this way *snap* 

communication fail. 

seriously, whoever did the mall deco at midvalley did a splendid job the deco is so CUTE!! there's 6-7 foot teddy everywhere and they were soft, squishy and oh so huggable. everytime i saw one i just had to resist the urge to run towards it and just hug it. seriously. but i didn't coz i'm a freaking 20 something T_____T.

eh, but wait. what i'm-a-20-something-so-i-don't-go-and-run-towards-the-cute-huggable-teddy?

teddy why so high up?

******
look what the bf gave me.

COMFORT FOOD! 

and lots of 'em too. this is one of the many reason why i love u. less than 3 my man less than 3.

<3.

suffice to say i am a happy not so little girl :)

teenage dream.

i love how they switch the song into a male perspective and made it as though it is the sweetest love story ever!

but i think everything sounds more romantic with a piano, no?

Boyce Avenue - Teenage Dream

lets just say this song will be on repeat for the rest of the night.

Never Let Go.

I probably don’t have it in me to walk alone in this world.
Or I just forgotten how to.
I am so used to having you beside me, holding my hand through everything.

3years 3days.

To many more years of falling hopelessly in love with you.

Love Lolita

Love is not that complicated. There's always a way to it.

Picture taken from Lolita.
Her blog is just mad awesome!

 

 

Because it is February.
And because I still have a bunch of pictures in my folder collecting dust.

Have you guys starting to feel fed up with my less-word-more-picture-posts yet?
There's no word vomit~ *big grin*

Ok. I should go and get busy with my PBL now.

Not Mushy

 

BHP commercial. Hahaha..

You don't know how hard I tried to take a pic of you keeping still T^T.

I know some of you are really gonna hate me for this, but I still wanna say this in a not mushy kinda way. So..

P/S: Baby your car need a wash ^^.

Romanticizing

I was reading through the postsecret archive the other day. Beneath all those depressing secret that were posted up I found this.

I couldn't get my mind of this secret. Cause it reminds me of you. Of how I feel of you.

We're 27 months baobei!

Thanks for being there for me during the difficult moments. Thanks for the silly jokes, the funny faces, and all the little things that you've done to cheer me up. Thanks for making me feel like I am the prettiest girl around and treated me like a princess. And I know I can be tad too demanding sometimes, but that's what princesses do right? *bat eyelashes* <33


I realize that our relationship is still young, but I want you to know that I feel very comfortable and grateful for having you with me going through my everyday.


Thanks for being mine.

Oh, and yep. i really love you.

Delusional

Been trying really really hard to cram for my assessment tomorrow but just can't help myself from being steer off from it. And there is still like a gazillion notes and pages that I haven't go through yet. I am so gonna F**k this one out. So much for my perfect score *wave goodbye to it**proceed by giving myself a virtual well deserve kick on my Gluteus Maximus* Sigh~

Drank a bottle of Red Bull earlier tonight so guess I wont be sleeping until 4 or 5. Never mind I can sleep during the stupid visit presentation tomorrow. No one will be interested enough to look at me drools anyway. *shifty eyes*

Parasites is disgusting. Period.

Went to Maybank to open up a new saving account but couldn't. Reason: coz I don't live near by and its suspicious. wtf. had to get a support letter for it. Lucky its not that troublesome.

I am so tired but I can't sleep. It must be the Red Bull.

DVD-ROM driver is working again. False alarm just need a good cleaning then its good to go. Took me 2 freaking weeks to think about cleaning it up before trying it again. Lucky I didn't send it for service I'd might wasted a week of lunch money on it. Moral of the story clean your driver Connie!

I had a tummy ache. Oh wait its gone now. Maybe because of the spicy tuna I took just now. Never mind its gone now anyway.

This post seems like it would never ends just like my notes.

I guess I'm angry about something. Or just simply depressed. I don't know. This feeling is very tiresome.

My plurk's karma is plunging dangerously low and I don't care.

Valentine's day is this Saturday. The gift doesn't seem that appealing to me but I hope you like it.

"Am I a jester in your court?" keep ringing on my head right now gotta let it out somewhere. So am I?

UPDATE: He loves the gift and I'm glad.

Of Flower and Kisses

Well more like tuna, egg and bread now. Ugh. I had a thing with tuna now its like a craving I cant not fulfill it and it making me talk gibberish. You can stop cringing your face now it'll cause u wrinkle.

*note: u can skip reading the next paragraph its all tuna talking*

I hope life could have been more interesting than what I'm leading now. Routine was driving me mad. I couldn't live with one it make me feel so rigid and lifeless. I woke up almost the same time everyday (read:late) , contemplating with oneself whether I should attend the oh so boring lecture and continue my sleep there or just sleep back here and just attend the lecture after that *thinking with eyes closed hoping that i'll dream of an answer*, decide to woke up anyway cause I am such a wimp to skip an important lecture and go get dress up lazily. Haiz, I swear if mum would see me like that she would probably be so irritated and i'll ended up like George Bush but the only different is I'll be half awake to dodge the shoe.

If you still don't get the tittle nevermind it doesn't mean anything anyway. Ok maybe it is partly due to the fact that Mr. Boyfriend is now officially 1 and a half hour flight away from me and things would remain as such for nearly one month period! My my I feel like single again *background song: It raining men* ok I'm kiding *change to sombre funeral music* there happy?! nggrr..

Question. Had you ever fought so hard for one thing and then when you get the thing that u want exactly as u wanted it to be like what u wanted you are not as excited as you thought you would be even though you've tried so hard to find the smallest amount of happiness for u to parade it around town and in the end u had to fake ur happiness and still parade it around town? No? Hmm.. I thought I mean I suppose to feel good about it right? The feeling of victory suppose to be all sweet and juicy but why mine felt so bland? In fact it feels so tasteless to me. Or I just seem to damage my tastebud from the hot peppermint tea that burnt my tongue just now or its just a normal thing that happen when u grew older or it just so happen coz i damaged my brain? Tell me tell me!! *big sigh* I want to feel victorious again!! *crying at the corner* <-- please ignore her I here blame the tuna again. T_______T Anyway need to get back to my oh so boring a.k.a lifeless routine and regain my lower limbs function and head to the shower before cracking my skull for my nutrition tutorial later on. Will getting a very strict lecturer tomorrow hopefully i wont woke up late and get myself lost tomorrow when i'm looking for my tutorial class. Damnit which room should i go again? Wisdom tooth is being an ass again and now it happen on both(!) sides. Been chewing like an old lady and diets are mostly consist of something soft and doesn't require any chewing such as porridge and TUNA! I want to put up some picture but could dig out any good one. T_______T Christmas holiday will start tomorrow! Not like I'm celebrating it or anything but any holiday is well I still not really a holiday coz I still had to do a whole lot off reading anyway. I shall stop before I drive everyone insane. Bye.

Happy Monthniversary!!!!!!!!111

Mr. Boyfriend stop by at my house today. At 9am(!!!) in the morning T_____T

Actually he'd been begging me to do a study date since like uhm.. gazillion years ago just that I am so lazy wanna had to dress up and act proper when I am studying with him. But since the whole hostel just left him alone and the cafe are close for raya holiday, I would be cruel if I let him catch mice for lunch and dinner.

Hahahaha... mice for lunch & dinner... Hahahaha *wipe tear* Okay enough with lame joke. *serious mode on*

So armed with lecture notes and 4 packet of porridge (me, him, and fellow housemates) he came. And guess what the porridge taste so good that I actually eat like a slob in front of him. So act proper. Haih.. why am I like this one T________T


But me eating like a pig in front of him is not the main topic today. Today is the second day of the month again so that means that it is our 15th monthniversary day!! Before I had any chance to say the usual Happy Monthniversary wishes to him he quickly asked me to get him some water. When I come back with the water he did the sweetest things ever. He surprises me with a bouquet of purple roses!!!! Well not really a bouquet lah just three roses only just to represent the 3 icky words that I just love to hear he say..Heee~~


ZOMG I'm so like a love sick puppy now. T3T

Love you boyfriend Happy Monthniversary.. Big X & O!!

Hello, its me again!

Its been quite a while since my last entry. I've been busy soul searching... funny how that sounds to me. I realize that I suck in keeping track with my life. Haiz... 

I been really distracted lately. Dunno why but I can't concentrate on my study. I wish I know what makes me so distracted *sob sob* maybe after knowing it i could fix it and go on with life. I better be quick the next test is coming up real soon!! *bite nails* 

for no apparent reason i was becoming more and more lazy suddenly... I sleep more, taking meals irregularly, have abnormal appetite, and having a crazy mood swings. I always find myself stuck in my own world and I was unable to lower down my guard and just let anyone come in and just talk about it. I always had my best poker face on (and now I think I'm an expert on it!!) and manage to LIE to everybody that EVERYTHING is OK. But let me tell this, NOTHING is OK! EVERYTHING IS FUCKING WRONG!! and I AM NOT OK!! There i said it. 

Come to think about it all the symptoms listed above clearly shows a sign of depression. Haiz.. I thought I've dealt with that?Guess there's no permanent fix for it *shrug* screw all those thing they say about just feel good and you'll be fine. Sorry it had to be better than that coz i don't buy it. 

Just feel so pity for the boyfriend.. He had to put up with all my absurd mood swings. Bless him. Hope it is not that tormenting. 

Met his parent family few days ago. And they are bunch of super amazing people. I'm so happy about that. We went out for the whole day together and don't feel awkward at all. Cool right? Right. Now I cant really imagine going through life without the boyfriend. Did I mention it already? I LOVE him!! No matter what I been through I feel like everything is gonna be fine as long as he is with me.