Hello, its me again!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Its been quite a while since my last entry. I've been busy soul searching... funny how that sounds to me. I realize that I suck in keeping track with my life. Haiz... 

I been really distracted lately. Dunno why but I can't concentrate on my study. I wish I know what makes me so distracted *sob sob* maybe after knowing it i could fix it and go on with life. I better be quick the next test is coming up real soon!! *bite nails* 

for no apparent reason i was becoming more and more lazy suddenly... I sleep more, taking meals irregularly, have abnormal appetite, and having a crazy mood swings. I always find myself stuck in my own world and I was unable to lower down my guard and just let anyone come in and just talk about it. I always had my best poker face on (and now I think I'm an expert on it!!) and manage to LIE to everybody that EVERYTHING is OK. But let me tell this, NOTHING is OK! EVERYTHING IS FUCKING WRONG!! and I AM NOT OK!! There i said it. 

Come to think about it all the symptoms listed above clearly shows a sign of depression. Haiz.. I thought I've dealt with that?Guess there's no permanent fix for it *shrug* screw all those thing they say about just feel good and you'll be fine. Sorry it had to be better than that coz i don't buy it. 

Just feel so pity for the boyfriend.. He had to put up with all my absurd mood swings. Bless him. Hope it is not that tormenting. 

Met his parent family few days ago. And they are bunch of super amazing people. I'm so happy about that. We went out for the whole day together and don't feel awkward at all. Cool right? Right. Now I cant really imagine going through life without the boyfriend. Did I mention it already? I LOVE him!! No matter what I been through I feel like everything is gonna be fine as long as he is with me.

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