Letter to Diary.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Dear diary,

Pardon my long hiatus from you the fact that I am writing you this letter shows that I still haven't forgotten about you. Just that now I am intended to share almost every little dirt of my twisted life to everybody that is reading this entry at this moment. And also that the note book that I used to pour my anger/sadness/happiness/musing had been long unable to accommodate my endless ranting.

So 2 more days before the end of the world *cough* I mean my exam. Normal people would be to hectic/anxious to even bother to on their laptop on this very moment. But I guess I am not normal as I does not follows the norm since I am typing this letter to you and not busy remembering/digesting/reading(why do I keep using slash?) that stakes of notes that been terrorizing my bed for the past few weeks. I just cant read anything right now. My brain seems to be dangerously overload with information and desperately needed a break.

I wish can say I'm well prepared for the exam and that what I've read is enough for a mere pass grade. *sigh* I'm pathetic aren't I? Ok la I might wont be that happy if I just get a pass. Coz all my work must have worth more than what I've did right? Right.

That bazooka that hit me last time left a massive hole on my body so now I am walking around with a massive invisible hole as a remembrance of that incident. All I can say that I'm lucky to be able to live through glancing at it every single moment of my crappy day.

Sometimes I wonder that is that alphabet A and that number 4 really is that significant? Is it worth to fight and fuss about? Should I just wave that white flag and surrender willingly to that imaginary opponent? But saying that alone hurts more than actually fall from that war from that imaginary opponent. In fact, if I were to actually do it the past me who worked/fought/bite(kidding!) hard to get the present me into this position that I am standing right would have haunt me and drive me insane until I eat my own guts and die doing it.

So diary I didn't give up. And I'm glad I didn't coz I seems to be getting on my games and my efforts are actually showing some positive results lately. Nowadays passing that notice board that shows that alphabet typed proudly beside my name/matrix number at least could provide me some temporary comfort and joy.

2 more days and counting.

Strange that I've been so fragile these days. Even I couldn't stand myself. Maybe its the stress.

Du'h I saw a pimple!! *freaks out*

yours truly.

1 Diagnosis Made:

CaRoL Kc said...

weh.. I really2 proud of you no matter what happens ok.. I know you can do it.. your achievement is far beyond anyone ever imagine someone like 'us' could have.. just show em' you can.. and this time HIT them hard!! and I promise you, we will go to that vacation.. err, just need to tell mom bout that 1st laa..