i'm feeling like a kid.

the first week was tough, but i think i've been coping with things well. the unpredictable mood swings is very much nerve wrecking. Getting the most weirdest cases on my bed is making me lose some sleep time. le sigh.

the coughing came at the worst timing ever, if it weren't for the fact that i almost lost my voice from it i wouldn't waste my energy to walk all the to the other end of the hospital to buy the much needed cough syrup. which out of the whole being so goddamn tired from the lack of sleep and such, i ended up accidentally bought the one for little kids and i only notice it when i've opened the screw top AND drank the cherry flavoured cough syrup!

but it was all good though, cough was slightly better now i was barking like a dog no more and voice was not gone. at least i have that now.

week 2, better. but the future scares me. i wanna go home.

trying hard to make myself believe

...that a day can only be the one of the worst day of your life if you let it be one.

i'm trying very hard to brush off the insults and reply with a smile. it's so unhealthy.
sometimes i wonder if they are there for the sole purpose of crushing your spirits. cause one can only have a certain limit of handling daily insults.

now it is time to test the how strong is my mental insults shield. wtf.

week 1, i want my superman!

dear god, please bend my road straight. thank you.

had to go back to KL on Thursday. too soon. home haven't quite sink in to me and yet i already had to leave it cause of some stupid decision i've made. too ridiculous to even worth to be mention.
but then again maybe this is what i need every year to keep reminding me that i'm not the brightest one out there and that i need to work extra hard to get what i want.
in some way i'm glad that this happen, weird. but yes i do indeed felt that way. nowadays i felt like life felt more natural when i screw up or some shit happen. my life, felt like were never meant to go on a straight road fml. i felt all messed up sometimes, and i always gone all jealous and shit over somebody else's perfect, carefree life but in a way i gotten more appreciative to that small good thing in my life like the family, the bf, the friends and random kind strangers.
i'm glad that i can still deal with most of these stupid shit myself and haven't go bananapeshit. like i said, i prob gotten used to it so much i've become immune to my stupid shit. though i sometimes couldn't fathom why i did what i did. it's crazy.
sharing is so not my favourite option to vent cause frankly if all you can offer me is 'aww, i'm sorry', 'i feel bad for you', or other unhelpful similar shit please, don't. i have enough of them to go around forever.

dear god, how much more bends on my road anyway? i'm getting weary you see.

stereotypes.

exam week is finally O.V.E.R and i'm home. Finally!

so enough talking about exam. for a thing that brought crazy amount of stress to me i think i've given the issue way to many credit by even ranting about it countless amount of time in this blog. i think by the amount of rant posts regarding all the exams that i've been through, i might have single handedly contribute and reaffirm the stereotypes that life as a medical student only revolve around exams and thus we are a creatures that never sleeps, always have a thick, heavy medical book within an arm reach, our sole conversation topics are only of medical related that we practically fluent in greek and latin, clinically half-blind/blind without our glasses, a walking medical encyclopedia and our definition of fun is a game of pin the name of the muscles on the cadaver a la pin the tail on the donkey , and many, many more!

wtf i sounds like i'm on nuclear meltdown (too soon?) or something. but seriously other than the part where we are clinically half-blind without our glasses and the thick medical book within an arm reach (can't help it, cause i do live in the hostel where i was surrounded by my books) i don't actually fit into the venn diagram of a stereotypical medical student. as much as i wish i was in that venn diagram cause then i won't  have to be so stress out about exams cause i'm a freakin' medical encyclopedia! i honestly think that none of the medical student can actually fit into that stereotypes perfectly, so far. 

yeah we do stress a lot on our exam, some more than other *coughpointselfcough* but we still do go out for a movie, go for a date and other stuffs like..., oh good lord i can't think of anymore. k lah donwan to explain myself already not like i'm obligated to do so oso. 

wtfabruptending.

T____________________T

by the frequency that i blog which evidently infrequent (i'm sorry!!!11), i wonder is anybody really out there reading this blog other than the spammer. cause i got to ask, what is your medical student stereotypes?