Saya ada buku, buku saya...

seesh.. writing in Bahasa is such a task for me now -___- 

How long had secondary school been? Don't answer that wtf. 

I can't even cook up a proper sentence and now I am doom forced had to type write a whole essay about how to deal with emotion based on some English literate which I can't finish even the first sentence coz it is too damn boring. I mean have you ever read about something clever and mid sentence you started to zone off and thought about what to eat for breakfast/lunch/dinner/supper/snack or excited about your homemade yogurt (OMG this is not a lie!! (about I made yogurt part! (ate it and survive!)) (Okay I shall stop talking in bracket T^T)) and in the end you're lost and you had to read the whole thing all over again and the vicious cycle starts again and again and again, k you get my point.

Anyway, just in case you are lost in between my ranting, yes the assignment is about emotion and yes I realize that I first need to translate it. wuwuwuwuwu can you feel my pain? wtf. Eh wait, hello direct translation *wave*. 

Iron & Wine

Flightless Bird, American Mouth

I was a quick wet boy, diving too deep for coins
All of your straight blind eyes wide on my plastic toys
Then when the cops closed the fair, I cut my long baby hair
Stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere

Have I found you
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping or lost you, american mouth
Big pill looming

Now I'm a fat house cat
Nursing my sore blunt tongue
Watching the warm poison rats curl through the wide fence cracks
Pissing on magazine photos
Those fishing lures thrown in the cold
And clean blood of Christ mountain stream

Have I found you
Flightless bird, grounded, bleeding or lost you, american mouth
Big pill stuck going down

Iron & Wine.

*****

I think I'm in love with this song.

I know I'm such a big softie.

au revoir

Goodbye holiday.
Hello reality lectures.

No more wasting time dearie.

Oh, remember to brace yourself cos it's gonna be a wild ride ahead.

Lollipop

My first try with pop art.

Its like looking at myself in a different skin.
But then again deep inside of me the colour reminds me of lollipop. and it is making me hungry -__-

Tools:
me, a webcam, some good lighting, and trusty photoshop.

"I'm afraid that if you look at a thing long enough, it loses all of its meaning." - Andy Warhol

Class is starting soon. I. Shall. Not. Be. Grumpy. About. It.

GAH!

only words

Dear diary,

I want to go to a place where emotion doesn't matter.
Waking up without worries and burden on my shoulder.
I want to spend all day lying on the green green grass on top of that big blue hill.
Feeling the breeze blowing softly on my face.
Counting clouds on the sky and figuring out the odd shapes that it forms.
I don't care if the sun shines so bright it hurts my eyes.
It could always adjust.
And my hand could always block it away.
I want to breath the cool flower scented air.
Feeling tranquil.
Serene.

Reaching out

Went to the zoo and fed the animals. It stinks but I had lotsa fun!

p/s: finally finish my first roll! Gonna develop it soon *fingers cross*

I smell roses

These smells heavenly. I just love the smell of roses. The scent have this power that could unleash my inner femininity wtf. Some people might relate rose scent to mature, old, or vintage, but I think rose is more like the LBD of scent. It never fades, it always going to smell nice plus it is oh so romantic.

Rosewater is actually has certain antiseptic and anti bacterial properties. So you can use it for skin inflammation and acnes. It also can be use to reduce wrinkles and fine line. Not forgetting the scent, so aromatherapeutic^^, My room smells like roses now. I like!

I haven't tried it yet though, coz I am still looking for a soap box. Can't wait!

Bought 3pcs (2 rosewater with cold cream + 1 rosewater glycerin soap) save me RM22 from the original price RM55. Thanks miu for such a great bargain. =)

30

It's been that long.

I miss you.

countdown

Time goes by so quickly. I need to grasp on to something.
Seriously Connie you-really-need-to-STUDY!!

GOSH I NEED MY MOJO BACK!!

*****

Mock OSCE tomorrow.
Prof. please don't eat me for lunch.

Pretty please?

Dementia

I thought I lost my phone today. Oh the shock I went through T^T

Feeling quite certain that I've put it in my bag this morning. I was so panic. You know how people lost their phone and they never get it back? NOOOO~

The thought of that got me running on the hallway (I was lucky not to stumble on any doctor T^T), trashing an ongoing lecture and notice how few the first year students are (?!) and panicked cause I can't find my phone at my seat, and 10min speedwalking to my house to find my phone is there on my bed FML.

Sigh. I think I should buy me a phone strap and hang my phone on my neck, like my student card so I wont forget or lost it.

Wait, then again that's not going to be a foolproof plan. GAH~

My memory is failing me. I think I have Dementia *self-diagnosis*

On the other note, Raya Holiday comes early. Early as in this Friday!! But I'm not going back though. So much for the hype. Not to worry cause I have my respiratory, cardiovascular, haematology, AND my epidemiology accompanying me. Can you sense my excitement?

So much for holiday, when people eat kuih raya, I am devouring paper stew. WUWUWUWU. I demand Sabah KUIH MAKMUR!! Cause the one they have it here is so not kuih makmur.

Anyway, off to type my essay on communication skill now. My life is super exciting no?

Holga 135BC, mine.

The said Holga!!

When I first got the package I was like are you kidding me? It's soo light! Is it even there? So instinctively I shake the packages just to make sure I wasn't punk'd. So uhm of course after I heard the rattling I stopped immediately before I traumatize the poor thing. I was getting so excited I forgot to take the package picture before I ripped it T^T

The walk from the college to my room took all my patience away ngegege.. But I do manage to notice that the dealer stated 'mainan' on the item description which was cute, TOY camera = mainan geddit?

Found underneath all those bubble wrap.

Scratch-free and safe from my violent act =)

See the lense cover!! How to open? Like opening your tupperware lid. Yes. So plastic right?

In fact this baby is almost 100% made of plastic including the lense! Why almost? Metal for the screw, springs, and some other thing to hold all of the Holga 135BC awesomeness together.
The camera function sans battery thus, after every take you need to turn the film MANUALLY using that knob thingy next to the viewfinder. Sigh I am illiterate in such thing so bear with me here.

The side view! Owh and it have this focus ring which suppose to allow you to change your focus thingy. I am not helpful do I? Oh well. Let us go to a more superficial approach coz I'm better in that sense wtf.

Like why I choose black for instance,

1) cheaper. Cool coloured one would cost a few bucks more.
2) imagine bringing this out to the street.

*stole the pic from the internet. Thank you!

Exactly.

3) cause most of the camera accessories is in black so I wont look mismatch.
4) Black goes with everything.
5) Black suppose to look professional despite the irony of the 'professional' camera being plastic *shifty eyes*
6) Can I just say that it is awesome so it doesn't really matter what color I choose?
7) Okay I ran out of reason.

So I am gonna work really hard to finish my roll of film and look for tons of black&white film to play with during the raya holiday ^.^

For now I'm just hoping I didn't screw up my 1st roll *nervous*

p/s: Many thanks to the awesome peeps from roflcam for their wonderful service! If you're interested in Lomography and want to buy a camera (esp Holga) do go check out their blog and ask around they'll be happy to help you =)

p/p/s: rolfcam is currently having a raya sale! damnit I should've waited T^T

non emo post

since i had one too many of those.

Random pics!

I forgot my key, and student card, AND house card when I got back last time so mom had to post them back to me. I was like pendatang haram for the whole week Y^Y. Lucky the guard was being lenient on me if not bye-bye RM50. My school is a blood-sucking leech like that but thankfully I must have look awesome that day for them to spare me *shifty eyes*

SALADS! I love my fibers *heart* especially when they are this colourful. Assorts colour lettuces, carrot, corn, cherry tomato, purple cabbage, and raisin toss together with a splash of olive and garlic oil, pepper, and rosemary. Ain't it pretty?

Taken during the practical session where you can see people breathing pure oxygen from one huge bag through that! And we're suppose to collect the breath that he'd expired and count the nitrogen concentration in it. Are you still with me? All went well until he open the tube from his mouth. The tube was occupying most of his mouth and he couldn't swallow his saliva so in the end we end up collecting a saliva sample too. Messy.


Off to Petaling Street for some Yong Tau Fu for breakfast/brunch. Owh that is half of boyfriend. He's camera shy so please forgive him. I took this when we're stuck in the traffic. When you're at KL that's all you do. Traffic I mean.

A rare pic of me looking awesome.

Recently got my Holga 135BC camera! It is so plastic and vintage you wouldn't believe that it is a camera until you took a picture with it. Still in a middle of finishing my first film roll. Yes I said FILM. That is like so pre-digital. Ok Imma stop coz I'm starting to ramble nonsense.

baby step to recovery

"when you love something you tell, you share, and when it's time you let go."

I wanted to tell God that He made a mistake. And how I wish that He could take back and undone everything. I wish. But life is not some unfinished movie that you can edit and redo just because you don't like how it goes. It doesn't work like that. Things run in an unpredictable course that was fixed for us by Him. No matter what you do you can't deviate from it. You have no test run, no second chance. Regardless of your stature, rank, race, religion, gender it is all the same.

I wanted so badly to believe that you're still around.

That somehow you are still at school learning the course that you just learn to LOVE and enjoy the reaction of your friends face when you fool them with your card tricks. Remember last time when I used to help you put on the tinie-tiny rubber band on your prop coin? And how we get so frustrated when it broke the last invincible band and we had to use the pink one? Haha.. I say you'll never get away with it, but soon after we finish with it you show me how you make the kids drop their jaws watching your coin biting trick. Show off. By the way, are you fooling kong-kong, nenek and ah mah there now too? Is nenek follows you around asking you to show her more tricks now? I bet she did cos she's so cute like that.

You know what? Your in my dream. And I like it.

Dreams that when I woke up make me smiles cos it reminds me all those happy times that we've spent together. Your toothy smile. For a moment I forgot about the emptiness you left us here and I feel you. I wanted to believe it so much that its you that had been comforting me. And it is you using your way of telling me that you're happy there. I hope you do. I believe you are.

I am not gonna mourn for you anymore. Cause I don't wanna hold you back.
I am gonna let you go cause I love you so.

But I'm not strong enough to hold my tears(yet) so expect a snotty official farewell, physically. Always know that you'll be in my heart LIVING ON. I promise I'll be stronger so that instead of weeping at your lost I WILL CELEBRATE YOUR LIFE.

Jack of Spade