kitty kitty.

There are few things that a girl just can't resist. 

Being functional is not a requirement but it is indeed a bonus ^^.

Even if I'm 21.

poached!

This is how I'm gonna take my my egg from now on.

Poached!

It's my first try in poaching eggs and it is that beautiful *proud*. The second one came out shitty though.

This was eaten with a buttery toast and seasoned with a dash of salt and pepper.

It is bliss people.

The egg looks kinda raw here but the glassy appearance is only due to the boiled water. I didn't manage to completely separate the water from the egg coz I'm scare that I'll ruin my perfectly poached egg T___T.

But then again who the hell eat a well done egg? I like the egg yolk in my eggs to be runny, gooey and disgusting. Life is too short to worry about salmonella.


Currently listening to Lou Reed- Perfect Day and trying really hard to resist myself from squeezing the big-ass zits at my right temple fml. 


Update: Too late! Big-ass zits squeezed!

...

Gosh. I miss you.

Not Mushy

 

BHP commercial. Hahaha..

You don't know how hard I tried to take a pic of you keeping still T^T.

I know some of you are really gonna hate me for this, but I still wanna say this in a not mushy kinda way. So..

P/S: Baby your car need a wash ^^.

Random Pics!

The whole morning class got cancel today.

And I ended up having only 30min of replacement tutorial. At 1PM!!!!111 

So basically I sacrificed my morning sleep for nothing.

T__________________________T

Being a good girl I didn't go back instead I stayed back at the lecture hall to study^^.

Btw, is it wrong that I get motivated by a note book? 

Cute isn't it? I think it is totally me. Hahaha.. 

 

Trying to stop eating junk food and start taking healthy food for snacks. Because I'm 21.

In case you're wondering, I think the whole 21 thing is not going to stop anytime soon.

Because I'm 21.

 Just reload my broadband today. I am officially broke T^T but you can help me by clicking my ads. And I got a free antenna! 

My broadband is super fast now.

Fast broadband makes Connie a broke happy girl. Yay!

Brown paper LOVE

It's 9pm and it is raining outside. Finally KL started to feel colder and by that comfortable. I no more need the service of a stand fan and sleeping half naked now wtf. I could cuddle up nicely in a bundle now in my teeny tiny blanket and sleep away without a care in the world. A feeling which of course only limited to Friday sadly to say since I could not afford to waste too much time being sashayed away into oblivion.

The new module practically eating away my soul T___T. The stuff to remember is just overwhelming. It's not helpful at all when the Boyfriend give some random quiz about the module I just simply could not remember what I've studied before. Great. I feel so bad for myself. not be able to answer the quiz makes me feel like I'm a complete idiot plus I could see the disappointment in your eyes. It kills me more. But no fret as pessimist as I sounds deep down inside it kinda awaken my inner competitive spirit (yes, I need that deep to dig it out *sigh*) and to do better. So maybe next time when you ask me that quiz I'll do better aye? But don't ask me right away I need to studied for it first! wtf competitive spirit fail. BUT believe me I am SERIOUS. seriously!!

I got a care package from mom today! (read: food package). I was suppose to receive it on Thursday but the bitchy clerk at the office could not answer a simple yes/no question during her lunch break. Hence, I am only able to retrieve it today(Sunday). So here it is brown paper love.

For you who have not taste this. Two word. Cracker heaven wtf.

My mum. "You'll never have too much of health food." Even her junk food is healthy (minus the crab cracker). Codfish seaweed anyone?

I love my weekends. My first weekend as a 21 year old. Gosh I am that old. I can't believe I'm like all grown up now. I could still remember back in the day when I was still a little girl how I always wished that I would grow up as soon as possible and do what grown up do. Wear heels, have boobs (I really do!) wear makeup and be all lady like and such (I know, how naive right?) and now that I'm older, numerical wise, deep down I still felt like I'm that little heels, curve (hello butt!) and makeup wearing girl. So the question is when will the mental maturity come by? 30? Why does it feels like I have a maturity of a ferret.

Sigh It's late I have major reading to do for tomorrow's 8am tutorial session and I still didn't know which group I am in. Lets just hope that I am not, NOT in a group that postpone class if not major wtf.

9.30pm. Don't feel like showering in this cold weather. I smell like coffee, and KFC. 

Fine. I'll go.

Wishes.

Happy Birthday.. To me! I'm OLD. Ok fine I'm being dramatic. It is too early to be panic about being old on 21. I might get wrinkles T^T.

This year, its gonna be a fresh start, a new beginning for me. Since its my birthday its fine for me to make a few wishes right?

Thus,

I wish for Wisdom.

I wish for Strength.

I wish for Health.

I wish for Wellness.

I wish for Happiness.

I wish for Laughter and Joy.

I wish for Love.

I wish for more birthdays to come and reasons to celebrate them.

And, of course I wish for Good Company to enjoy them with.

Oh maybe if I have some spare wishes left I might wish for world peace too ^^. LOL.

Eighteen Ways

Why I LOVE The Sims.

Go laugh your head out on these mindless murder.

Today is the first day of the third week for this term and I'm already burn out FML.

Can't wait for Friday. It's so important that they make it a holiday.

Mr. Hankey

I guess watching The South Park kids singing about poop while drinking pumpkin soup is not a good idea. T____________T

Moirae

Dry your eyes, dry your eyes.

Letting you go is not done with an ease,

maybe, just may it be that the white light offer you peace.

You are not mine to belong now.

As you're gone now. To that one way road.

Gone.

Destiny is just a twisted fairy tale waiting to unfold.
Fate played a fool on us.

Hope is just unreliable.

And though He had the power to resist the sisters,

Zeus just stood there silently letting them run the show. 
As the thread has been spun and measured.

It took just a snipped of that thread of life.

And just like that things went wrong.

Teaching us the hard way that picture perfect is a lie. Nonexistence.

Showing us all that of what we thought was strong is in fact all frail and fragile.
As though mocking our naivety.

But,

just this once, just this one last time

lets play pretend that everything is like before.

Pretend that you were here once more.

Where everything was picture perfect, unharmable, untouchable.

Invincible.

Just this once lets pretend.

Missing you is no task.

Like breathing it is subconsciously done without fail.

The memory of you, memory with you is what kept me from sinking.

Though pain still threaten to hurt me,

just hold on, hold on.

There's this whisper I'd heard,
telling me that life may be hard at some time.

But take a breath, take a breath and take it easy for once.

And if you fall apart just hold on. Do hold on.

Let me dry your eyes now, dry your eyes.

The XX

Was putting this as my YM shout out. Suddenly bunch of my friends asked me when did I started to watch porn. imma T__________________T.

I thought people always put XXX for porn. XX is completely different from XXX k.  
.
.
.

.

Ok, fine I see your point people. *sigh*

Anyway, The XX.

I find shelter, in this way
Under cover, hide away
Can you hear, when I say?
I have never felt this way

Maybe I had said, something that was wrong
Can I make it better, with the lights turned on
Maybe I had said, something that was wrong
Can I make it better, with the lights turned on

Could I be, was I there?
It felt so crystal in the air
I still want to drown, whenever you leave
Please teach me gently, how to breathe

And I'll cross oceans, like never before
So you can feel the way I feel it too
And I'll mirror images back at you
So you can see the way I feel it too

Maybe I had said, something that was wrong
Can I make it better, with the lights turned on
Maybe I had said, something that was wrong
Can I make it better, with the lights turned on

Maybe I had said, something that was wrong
Can I make it better, with the lights turned on 

Shelter-The XX

P/S: Hi Jonat!! *wave*

Instant Love

FOOD!!

Weird blue drink on a super long glass which tasted suprisingly good.

My curiosity end up killing quite a number of brain cells and a blue tongue.

Toast on steroid. Nuff said. 

Dine at : Wong Kok Char Chan Teng, Pavillion.

Only Japanese restaurant can make you dine in an itsy-bitsy cubicle for two and still doesn't make you feel claustrophobic. But then again I am not claustrophobic so don't take my word wtf. 

However, I somehow find it hard not to stare at the person on cubicle opposite me. There is nothing else to look. Cause it's either the wall or you T__________T.

Caviar sushi. Just your normal fish roe.

I find it a bit too salty for my liking though.

Dine at: Sushi Zanmai, The Garden.

Finally, after a long period of 'shoe-fasting'. ehem..and by shoe I mean heels. 

*
*
*
*

 

No thought no hesitation. It is not impulse it is pure love. 

And got this love on sale! =)

Shoegasm wtf.
 

Roman Holiday

I'm back from the holiday! err..  which officially ends yesterday. And since the monday's blue got to me, so no blog post yesterday. I really don't know the significance of explaining this but after a long, long, long, looooooooooooooooooooooong time being MIA I think a fairly longer post would make a good compensation. 

.

.

.

Even though it is full of crap T____T.

since the first week of semester is the only time where I don't have to be bother about catching up with my studies, I am gladly taking this precious time to watch and re-watch those Audrey Hepburn's movies in my external hard drive. I just idolise her so much its not even funny. Gonna download the rest of her movies once I found the decent torrent. 

 

Audrey Hepburn & Gregory Peck in Roman Holiday. Lovely pic no? I want a picture just like this.

Funny how the fashion of few decades ago is the trend for now.

• High waist skirts - Checked
• Gladiator Sandals - Checked
• Sitting on a Vespa hugging a hot guy from the back looking so in love - Check, check and check. But then again that is something that never gone out of style. ^^

This now the part where there is an awkward silence pause. So I shall abruptly end this post coz I basically ran out of things to say. HAHAHA.. 

P/S: Thanks for the Good Luck wishes everyone! ^^

P/P/S: Film developed. Discover that I might be a landscape photographer disguise.

walking zombie.

a sleep-deprived walking zombie.

a chronically sleep-deprived walking zombie. 

written paper ends today. 

frankly speaking, i didn't know how i did what i did and the last thing i want to do now is to think about how i did. 

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

cant make any long coherent sentences my brain needs some rest.

now, time to sleep back those 8923294016hour!

EXAM!

Title is self-explanatory. 

I demand Good Luck wishes wtf.

I'm not kidding. *serious mode*

Study week

Was held in solitary.

Till next time.

scale

If there is a scale for stress level, between 1 to 10 I'll say mine is 100000000.

a Congratulatory

CONGRATULATION ON YOUR CONVOCATION SISTER DEARIE!!!

I am so proud of you.

Sorry I can't be there for you. 

T____________T 

*Gives virtual flower bouquet*

oh, oh.. and

I hope that you won't fall on the stage tomorrow. ^^

Bright Feathers Bird.

"I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged.


Their feathers are just too bright and when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice, but still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone.


I guess I just miss my friend."

The Shawshank Redemption

chasing pavements

This song made my heart misses a beat.

If you're chasing love, future, happiness or just anything.

Never gives in.

Some things is just ain't worth to contemplate for.

You only live once.

I've made up my mind,
No need to think it over,
If i'm wrong I aint right,
No need to look no further,
This ain't lust,
This is love but,

If i tell the world,
I'll never say enough,
Cause it was not said to you,
And thats exactly what i need to do,
If i'm in love with you,

Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

I'd build myself up,
And fly around in circles,
Wait then as my heart drops,
and my back begins to tingle
finally could this be it

Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

Chasing Pavements-Adele

Mocha!

The cutest dog ever! 
Here she's making my tummy as pillow.

She's very camera shy.
And this is one of the few rare picture of her looking directly at the camera.
 She's looking supremely adorable don't you think?

She's very good in sensing camera and almost always looked away from it. 

She didn't know what she got.

I really miss you being so annoyingly cute.

Pink october.

I'm might be a little late in posting this up as we are now left with 10 more days in the month of October. But as you probably know or not know, October is the official Breast Cancer Awareness Month (BCAM). I wanted to turn my blog pink for the month after i stumbled into PinkForOctober website but I just don't have the time to plus, I can't find a suitable layout for it. Hence the pink post =D

The picture that I've taken does not talk about breast cancer (if can see it T___T, and yes you probably could've guess that I took it from one of my faculty toilet. I was in a rush that's why it is a bit cut-off) though but cervical cancer and breast cancer are some what inter-related to each other. But that is a different chapter to talk about.

Now lets talk breast cancer.

Breast cancer is the leading cancer for female in Malaysia. According to Malaysian Oncological Society, 1 in 19 women in Malaysia is at risk. There's no exact cause of breast cancer. But there are several risk factors for women to get breast cancer. Such as,

• Age over 50 years old.
  
• Family history of breast cancer and/or ovarian cancer.
• Carrier of BRCA I and BRCA II genes.
• Began menstruating at a young age and late menopause.
• History of benign breast lump.
  
• Obesity.
• High fat diet.
• etc.
  

Most women in Malaysia present with a painless lump in the breast. It may grow slowly and change the shape and size of the breast. The lymph nodes in the armpit will also be swollen if affected by the cancer cells.

But the big question is, can it be cure? Well, breast cancer is not exactly a death sentence to some people especially if it is detected earlier. Breast self-examination (BSE) and mammogram helps in early detection. BSE can be done monthly and mammogram is recommended for women above the age of 50 and is advisable every one to two years. This point is especially crucial for those high-risk women (positive family history) where screening can be done at an earlier age (40-49years old). 

Me, myself have two friends whose mother are once diagnosed with breast cancer and was able to ask about their mother's experience confronting the disease. Both medically and emotionally wise. It was a terrifying thing to go through. Watching your love ones struggling for their lives fighting that few thousands vicious cells is extremely painful.

So spread the words, ask your doctor, and touch yourself (I don't mean in a wrong way lah!!) cause prevention is better than cure.  

***this post is just for the purpose of information sharing. Any doubt about the given information please refer to your doctor.

 

step by step

...oh baby~ sorry cannot resist myself. Hehehehe... *ignore*

In amidst of all the exam frenziness and craziness, I still manage to find time to be secretly obsess with Stepmania. Fine, maybe it is not so secret if you can hear me jumping about trying to catch up with my steps. Being graceful is so not my forte you see, and apparently I am not much of a dancer too. And to say I've been dancing since I was like in crawling stage wtf. Haih maybe I'd lost my touch or steps or something.

This is me trying to find balance wtf.

I used to swim last time. But not until recently, swimming is no longer an option since the owner of the place where I stay still think that a girl can get pregnant if a boy and a girl were to be in the same pool together. And thus they decided that if you have a vagina you can only go swimming from 10am to 3pm. The rest is for all the danglers *grumble grumble* Since my class is usually from 8am-5pm there is no way that I'll be able to swim. Sigh. 

Well at least I'm having my work out. The Stepmania had got me sweating like a pig. I better be losing weight from all the jumping dancing, sweating, and not to mention piles of clothes to wash afterward! Plus, I so need my endorphins now, all this studying is killing me!!

concentrate

I've started this blog never with an intention to let anyone that I know to found out about it (read: anonymous). I think it was my cousin inden who found out about my blog first. and I tell you it gave me some sugar rush! She was like kept pestering me to update and I was like what update? sigh.

Anonymity fail T___T

It was tad embarrassing cause when I started out I was me, full throttle.

I was troubled, depressed and had no one to turn to when I realize letting myself and my thoughts run loose in this blog allowed me to loosen up a bit it became one of my medium for me to channel out my emotion(and it still is).

My family, friends and the boyfriend, Its not that they're not around when I need them it's just that writing what I feel is so much more easier than talking about what I feel. How do people do it anyway, talk to a friend, cry their heart out? I always choke before I manage to do it. It's just felt so wrong, exposing myself like that. I rather keep everything inside me and then just shrug it off, just like that.

You see, I tend to let people see what they want to see in me cause I think I grew up learning/thinking that's the correct way of doing it. I'm a people-pleaser of some sort I suppose. Or I'm just emotionally constipated wtf.

Ok seriously no jokes.

I care too much about what people might think of me, of how they'll probably be hurt if I do the thing I want to do. I know, I know I shouldn't care about what people think about me. I should just be myself blablabla all that shit. Its not that I didn't try. I did try to change it sometimes, I try not to follow what my mind told me to do and start to think what would Connie do? How it gave me such sense of pride when I was able to fight the feeling.

However, sometimes it's hard to find me inside me. And when I'm just too tired to answer the question I would just follow what my mindset told me to. Cause it is hassle free that way.

Haze.

People at Ranau we call 'em mist and it'll be chilling.

Here at KL we call 'em haze and it's hot!

The haze doesn't seem to go anywhere anytime soon.

I want my clear blue sky back!

early weekend!

Happy Deepavali for those who celebrate it!!

And for everyone else have a great weekend!!

the Balls that is Love.

Warning site may contain some mouth watering graphic. Excessive parasympathetic stimulation and unexplainable craving might occur. Viewer discretion is advised. Words of advice: do prepare a box of Kleenex. That ought to help. 

 

I wanna go to Melaka and eat some balls, literally wtf.

No. I have not gone crazy yet. And I really do mean Balls.

Ice balls and Rice balls that is.

All that gooey juice on top of it.

The numbing coldness that it gives.

The different textures. Soft, crunchy, slippery, smooth, and gritty. 

I WANT IT ALL!

Damnit I'm making myself hungry.

Say cheese!

 

I miss waking up early just to play with you.

But the pile of notes on my bed is making me feel guilty for even thinking about you.

FML.

Can't wait for exam week to be over.

Which is another 1 month to go. T___T

So, be patient for just a little while.

Enjoy sitting in the dark corner of my drawer for now.

Birth.

Happy Birthday baby bro.

If you're still here, 

Your friends are gonna throw you an awesome surprise birthday party, they probably do some naughty prank to the birthday boy. We'll be making that obligatory phone call to wish you a happy birthday by the stroke of midnight (fine, I just hate to let you know that I've been waiting for the moment to wish you) and you would start asking us for presents (note the 's'), birthday wishes will start to flood your phone inbox, you'll be having the time of your life with your new friends at a new place.

If you are still here to experience life as you're suppose to, I know you would love it.

IF.

How I wish you had that moment. 

But I guess celebrating it anywhere is the same right? I am sure Grandpa and our Grandmas are celebrating it with you up there. 

Happy 19th Birthday kid. I'll eat your portion of the cake for you. =)

The light

Be strong.

fragmented

My thought is all fragmented. I see things in small, tiny pieces for easier analyzing.
I hate it. I want to function as a whole.
But sometimes being fragmentize is good for you. methinks.

*****

sigh, I just can't make a complete sentences that make sense now. My brain hurts.

Tangled up

 

Went for retail therapy. 

My favorite buy. ^^

"it is love.

not reason.

that is stronger

man dream."

  

Who knew lace can be comfortable O.o

All these while I've been trying to avoid it.

Wearing lacy stuff makes me feel so grown up. Sigh~

inconsolable

I hate this feeling I'm having now.

I can't make the heartache go away.

Why can't life exist sans brokenheartedness?

Why can't life demise without the grief and sorrow?

Without you, I am still adapting.

yellow submarine

"...We all live in a yellow submarine

Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

We all live in a yellow submarine

Yellow submarine, yellow submarine..."

Yellow Submarine: The Beatles

Hahaha... singing this song makes me crazy happy. =D

Currently listening to The Beatles Discography. 

Charity rarity

Just got back from the orphanage for community service.

I was playing with one of the toddler there when I found this.

Fine, I might have played it for awhile before I decide to return it to the little kid.

We were both amused by the semi-complete jingling ball T^T

Both of us agree that the eyes were creeping us out.

Our attempts of trying to cover the creepy-looking eyes kept us entertained for half an hour.

I wanna tell her so bad it is a semi-complete ball, but it would be like telling santa does not exist.

I was seriously tempted though *evil*

But after several futile effort she grew bored of it and requested me to play with her.

Play as in she wants to be a supergirl and running around chasing bad guy (read: me) kinda play.

I almost die.

Thanks to the ball I manage to break the ice.

Just one problem though, by the end of the service I got one kid clinging to me refusing to let go.

T_________T

Romanticizing

I was reading through the postsecret archive the other day. Beneath all those depressing secret that were posted up I found this.

I couldn't get my mind of this secret. Cause it reminds me of you. Of how I feel of you.

We're 27 months baobei!

Thanks for being there for me during the difficult moments. Thanks for the silly jokes, the funny faces, and all the little things that you've done to cheer me up. Thanks for making me feel like I am the prettiest girl around and treated me like a princess. And I know I can be tad too demanding sometimes, but that's what princesses do right? *bat eyelashes* <33


I realize that our relationship is still young, but I want you to know that I feel very comfortable and grateful for having you with me going through my everyday.


Thanks for being mine.

Oh, and yep. i really love you.

Saya ada buku, buku saya...

seesh.. writing in Bahasa is such a task for me now -___- 

How long had secondary school been? Don't answer that wtf. 

I can't even cook up a proper sentence and now I am doom forced had to type write a whole essay about how to deal with emotion based on some English literate which I can't finish even the first sentence coz it is too damn boring. I mean have you ever read about something clever and mid sentence you started to zone off and thought about what to eat for breakfast/lunch/dinner/supper/snack or excited about your homemade yogurt (OMG this is not a lie!! (about I made yogurt part! (ate it and survive!)) (Okay I shall stop talking in bracket T^T)) and in the end you're lost and you had to read the whole thing all over again and the vicious cycle starts again and again and again, k you get my point.

Anyway, just in case you are lost in between my ranting, yes the assignment is about emotion and yes I realize that I first need to translate it. wuwuwuwuwu can you feel my pain? wtf. Eh wait, hello direct translation *wave*. 

Iron & Wine

Flightless Bird, American Mouth

I was a quick wet boy, diving too deep for coins
All of your straight blind eyes wide on my plastic toys
Then when the cops closed the fair, I cut my long baby hair
Stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere

Have I found you
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping or lost you, american mouth
Big pill looming

Now I'm a fat house cat
Nursing my sore blunt tongue
Watching the warm poison rats curl through the wide fence cracks
Pissing on magazine photos
Those fishing lures thrown in the cold
And clean blood of Christ mountain stream

Have I found you
Flightless bird, grounded, bleeding or lost you, american mouth
Big pill stuck going down

Iron & Wine.

*****

I think I'm in love with this song.

I know I'm such a big softie.

au revoir

Goodbye holiday.
Hello reality lectures.

No more wasting time dearie.

Oh, remember to brace yourself cos it's gonna be a wild ride ahead.